We sold Ben's car for a small amount of money prior to moving down here. We were grateful for the sale because it covered a good portion of our condo expense while we attended the Lead Summit Family Retreat last weekend in Alabama. That weekend was so refreshing and wonderful. We learned so much from others in the ministry and it was a great time for us to reconnect as a family. Had we not sold our other car, I'm not sure we could have attended.
However, on the way home I believe we got some wrong gas for our car. Ever since, the vehicle drives fine, but it will take an extra turn or two of the key to start. After searching the internet, we felt pretty confident that as that gas gets diluted with the right gas, that the issue should go away. However, yesterday really had me questioning that logic.
I ran to Target to pick up Annabelle's prescription for her ear infection. (Thank you Jesus that our doctor back home was able to just call in one for us). I returned to the car and began the ritual of turning the key a couple of times to get it to start....only it wouldn't start. I tried not to panic. I sat for a bit and tried again....and again...The outside temperature was 90 degrees, so I put the windows down so I wouldn't suffocate while I waited....and waited. After a few more rounds of tries, and a glance at the clock which told me Ben was supposed to leave for work in this car in less than an hour, I decided to call Ben to see if he had any pointers.
Unfortunately, there wasn't anything more I could do. He told me he would find someone to come get me or call for a tow to come. While I sat fluctuating between waiting and trying some more to get it started, a gazillion thoughts began to run through my head. "If we have to tow this, then that will be really expensive, and Ben will have to miss work which means missed income, and he might not be able to get to school tomorrow and may have to miss more work and more income...." I began chasing this rabbit in a very depressing direction when it occurred to me I needed to stop worrying and start praying!
It was during this time of trying to refocus my thoughts, that God reminded me of perspective. Just months ago, if this would have happened, I would have been annoyed and possibly frustrated, but we would have had another vehicle to depend on. I could have dropped Ben off at work and picked him up on the days I needed a car. He could have possibly even gotten a ride from a friend. We would have several friends that we could call that would gladly take a look at the car and help us fix it. The cost would probably be minimal, and if not, we had very steady paychecks coming in to cover it. But now....
Now the loss of a vehicle means a loss of wages. It means the inability to get to school. It has such a greater impact on our lives. It made me consider all of the people in our country that don't have access to a reliable vehicle. This limits their ability to work and the opportunities that the world provides to better themselves and their family. And then I began to think of my dear friends who are missionaries in Honduras. They have been trying to raise money to purchase a vehicle for at least six months now. While I know they wouldn't wish car issues on anyone, I'm sure they would be grateful to just have a car to call their own, issues and all. As it stands now, they have to borrow vehicles or take a crowded bus to go grocery shopping an hour away.
All of this thinking makes me sad. Sad that I didn't appreciate our two car home more. Sad that I didn't use that blessing to help others. Sad that when my friend in a one car home had car issues I didn't do more for them or pray harder for them. It honestly never occurred to me how devastating that loss can be...
I try to start the car a couple more times...and it starts running! Thank you Jesus for giving me that time to pause and be grateful for what we have. Thank you for getting our car running in time for Ben to get to work. Thank you for a new perspective! We're continuing to pray that this issue will blow over or be easily fixed. In the meantime, I hope I continue to reevaluate my perspective so that I may gain more compassion and empathy for the world.
Contemplatively Yours, Anne
P.S. If you feel called to help in some way, here is a great opportunity to help a family! https://www.youcaring.com/joe-cortney-caroliona-and-alistair-cash-370851#.VX5cQ5oCIdk.facebook
*******************************Update*****************************************
Shortly after I posted this, I got word that the Cash Family was able to purchase a vehicle!!!! Praise God!!!
