But Still....

I just finished our 19th day of homeschooling. Things have been going much better than expected, but still...

It's so tempting for me to write about all of the wonderful we are experiencing in Benton. The fulfillment of following God's Will. Starting a Life Group in our home. Getting to spend more time with our kids. Living a simpler life. There really is so much good, I could go on and on. However, I feel like I need to be fair to all of you and share the bad as well. 

It has occurred to me that if I only share the good, I could be guilty of spreading false doctrine. Unintentionally I could be subliminally telling someone that if you follow God's Will then life will be easier. Unfortunately, that just isn't the case. If only!

So, I want to be real. I'm not sharing this to say "Woe is me." or "Look how I am suffering." On the contrary. I share this so that you will know:  Whether you follow God's Will or not, life is going to be hard. However, when you are in His Will, you get the benefit of peace.

Now that Ben is in school full-time and working part-time, I no longer have the luxury of his undivided attention. His work load is very strenuous, so even when he is home with us he is either studying or trying to rest for a moment. Sometimes, when I am talking to him (trying to get some adult conversation in before I lose him to pizza deliveries), I can see him running through the Greek alphabet or recounting his homework list in his mind. He doesn't mean to be distracted, but school is very important to him. He wants to do his best because he knows it will make him a better servant. I'm aware of this and am very proud of him, but somehow I hadn't counted this as a cost when we made our decision. 

I go through my day fluctuating emotions like a schizophrenic. I will literally one moment be yelling at my children in frustration over goofing off when they need to be doing schoolwork (something I am repenting daily of), and then the next minute feeling overwhelmed with gratitude that I get to home school them. One moment I am so grateful for our home and that we have food to eat, and the next moment I am wondering how God is going to be able to provide for the next week. I fluctuate between desperately wanting some undivided alone time with my husband and wishing he could be working more hours. And that is why I sit here crying as I write this. I am a HOT MESS!

But the thing is....God knows. He knows all of this and He is here. Last night at church, us younger adults got together and we looked at a passage in Jeremiah. I want to encourage you to look at it too. Jeremiah 15: 10-21

Sound familiar? It should. Because it sounds a whole lot like what I just wrote. I'm doing your Will God. But... whine, whine, whine.

Our new friend, John Bagby, did a great job of highlighting what God's response to this is. He doesn't give Jeremiah a pep talk. He doesn't say, "You're doing great! Just hang in there!" And, he doesn't tell him to move on. What does He tell him then? "If you return to me, I will restore you so you can continue to serve me." In other words, stop focusing on yourself, turn to God, and repent. And so, that my friends is what I must do. 

Therefore, if you see a bunch of posts that seem all sunshine and butterflies, I want you to know that there are a million instances of hurt, loneliness, doubt, sin, frustration and confusion that are intertwined as well. You probably won't hear about that as much because I am doing my best to glorify and honor God. But don't ever say I misled you into believing that life would be easy with God. It won't. In fact, at the end of that passage it says: "Yes, I will certainly keep you safe from these wicked men. I will rescue you from their cruel hands." 

God hasn't promised us a cushioned life. The cruelty of life will be able to get a hold of us. But God will be right there to rescue us from it. Life will not be easy with God, but it will be more amazing. You will be able to find peace among the chaos. You will have gratitude intermingling with the despair, and love among the tears. Please take a moment with me and repent. Ask God to forgive you for your selfish thoughts. And then, let us thank Him for giving us so much more than we could ever deserve!

Learning and Growing, Anne

Prayers Please!

Hello everyone! Well, we have two weeks of half days of homeschooling under our belt. The road wasn't always easy, and was actually quite frustrating at times, but we survived. It is taking everyone a bit of time to adjust to our new roles, but I believe we will all settle in just fine.

As the majority of Arkansas heads back to school tomorrow, we will be beginning our first week of whole days of school. The kids are a bit worried about this, but I'm hoping they will be pleasantly surprised at how much shorter the day is than public school. I have discovered that Noah can take a frustratingly long time to complete a math lesson. Not because he doesn't understand it, but because he doesn't want to do it. So, tomorrow we will start allotting 45 minutes for math. Whatever he doesn't finish in that time becomes homework. That way he can see how quickly he could be done with his day if he applies himself. Praying it works!!!

Our other big news since our last post is that Ben has a job! 

He was recently hired at Papa John's as a pizza delivery guy. This job fits in perfectly with his schedule, is low-stress, and makes really good money. The only downside is that right now he isn't getting enough hours to make ends meet. Please pray that his hours will increase. We are moving more quickly through our immediate savings then we would like, and are trying to not dip into our emergency savings unless necessary. Fortunately with school starting, we will have access to the free pantry at the seminary. Local churches donate to keep it stocked, so I am sure we will take advantage of it often!

It is quite surreal to be in this position at this point in our lives. It has been an adjustment going from living comfortably with a modest salary to working hourly and praying for more hours. We know that God will continue to provide as long as we keep working hard for him. If God should be prompting you to assist us financially, Life Point has a fund set up for us and all money can be sent to them. (More info on the How You Can Help tab). Please do not feel obligated though! Your prayers are a huge help! I hate to even bring it up, but I also do not want to rob someone from their blessing by being too proud. 

Ben has his opening luncheon at the Seminary this Thursday. He is so anxious to start school! His favorite time in his life was when he became committed to his college degree. He loves learning and is super excited that his education will have so much meaning to him! Please be praying for all of the students, faculty and all of the churches that support the seminary. Without their generosity, this degree may not have even been possible for Ben.

We are settling nicely into our new home and life in Arkansas. We have some wonderful friends already through church, our neighbor and Ben's job. The kids have even found their very favorite place to go....

the skate park! Fortunately, it isn't far from our house, so we like to take them there to burn some energy and have fun. We are looking forward to the day when we can have some visitors. If you would like to come and see us, just let me know when! Also, don't forget to subscribe to our blog so you can be notified anytime we update! 

Gratefully Following Him, Anne

"Do not worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done." Philippians 4:6-7 

Let the Homeschool Adventure Begin!!!!!

Well, we did it!!! We actually started school! After finally getting to open up our curriculum, I didn't want to wait any more days to see what we have gotten ourselves into. Because I know my kids have been out of school mode for too long, and I know we still want to enjoy a little more of summer, I decided to begin our experience with half days. 

We began this past Tuesday. I decided to take this week and next week to complete all of the lessons for the first week of school. Then when Ben begins Seminary the week of the 17th, we will be ready to jump in full-time as well. 

We had a bit of a rough start. It wasn't too terrible, but I could quickly tell it was going to take some getting used to doing school at home. The distractions of sitting at the kitchen table (how does a Kroger ad distract a 12 yr old boy, I will never know)...Learning not to whine when a lesson takes you longer than 10 minutes to complete (You do remember sitting in school for 7 hours a day, right?)....Trying to remember to answer mom seriously when she asks you how flattening Australia changes its shape (I wasn't expecting a simple map question to stump them. It gets BIGGER!!!!!) 

But with these aggravations came a lot of fun and bonding. We got to explore the flattening of Australia by cutting a mandarin orange "globe" to see what would happen. (This also resulted in hand squeezing the insides to make "orange juice". This was rather messy and probably overshadowed the map concept, but they enjoyed it.) 

We got to experience our lessons continuing throughout the day when Annabelle's spelling word "grasp" made an appearance in our conversation but under a different context and meaning. (Great teachable moment!) I am absolutely loving that their curriculum presents the material from a Christian view. Exploring habitats and learning about the first habitat in the Garden of Eden... examining cultures and discovering how we can be praying for them... hearing how science concepts support what we read in the Bible....so many ways to tie our faith into our learning experience. 

One of our favorite moments from this week was when we took our first field trip!!! We got to explore downtown Little Rock and play at the Discovery Museum as a family. We had such a great time! I'm not sure who enjoyed it more, us or the kids!

Rianne hanging out with a cow

Noah and the pulleys

Annabelle braving a bed of nails

And then today, the girls and I got to visit the Christian Bookstore Mardel's. 

The ladies of Summit Baptist Church in Pine Bluff blessed us with a gift card there to finish our homeschool supplies shopping. It was so great to be able to buy the last of our curriculum and some other necessities without worry about the cost. (I had no idea how expensive homeschooling can be!) I am so grateful for this opportunity to homeschool. It was never anything I ever wanted to do. I am sure there are days when I am going to wish we were back in public school. However, I can already see how amazing this is going to be for my kids; and for me! I didn't realize how much I missed writing up lesson plans, checking math problems, and cracking open a new book. Nor did I realize the thrill of hearing my children say, "I never knew that!" 

Please continue to pray for us this school year. More challenging days are sure to come. We would love to have you follow our blog by signing up to the right, or leaving us a comment to know you are there. We so appreciate all of the prayers and support! God Bless!

Teaching and Learning, Anne

"Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge." Proverbs 23:12