The Cost

We know there is a cost to following God. Before we embarked on this journey we counted it: loss of salaried jobs, moving from our home, distance from family. We did a pretty thorough inventory of losses and agreed to them. However, anyone that has given up their comfortable life to follow God will agree to one thing...sometimes a loss, one you never considered, will jump out and kick you from behind.

I seem to be experiencing these losses quite frequently nowadays. The first one that comes to mind was finding out Annika had a lip and tongue tie. In our former life, we could have immediately gone to the doctor and had them fixed. Perhaps we would have been able to then work through our breastfeeding issues and been more successful. Perhaps I could have still been nursing her now. But, we had to wait for her insurance to go through. And then the ENT wouldn't do her lip tie and a qualified dentist that would, doesn't take her insurance. While I am extremely grateful for her insurance, this is a cost of state-funded insurance that I never counted.

The other such event happened today. The fact that I want to burst into tears over it has me completely blind-sided. It's so vain and trivial, but upsetting all the same.

I took Noah to the optometrist to have his eyes checked again. He has a lazy eye that we have to keep tabs on. While his vision is great with his glasses, the doctor confirmed that he does need to be wearing his glasses all of the time. (Something that Noah is not too keen on). His prescription didn't change much, but it did need modified.

Where is the concern in this? Well, again, his state insurance will only cover some very basic frames. We had spent a lot of time fretting over frames last year to find a pair that he was satisfied with and willing to wear. They were pricey, but with our insurance and steady income we were able to get them. Well, when we asked about keeping these frames and just replacing the lenses, they said his insurance wouldn't cover that but we could pay for it out of pocket. At $85 a lens, that just isn't possible. The part that really broke my heart was the fact that Noah didn't even complain even though I could see the disappointment on his face. It's just glasses, but having my son settle for less then what he wants is hard to bear. I hate that we can only give him a chinsy pair of glasses. Again, I'm grateful for our insurance and that we have access to great optical care. We saw first hand in Africa how amazing this accessibility is. An African would travel miles and weep with happiness over these chinsy frames that I find so heartbreaking. Yet, here I am. Saddened by our loss.

I know we have more unexpected losses ahead of us. I am not looking forward to facing them. However, even though I can't ever count the full cost of our obedience, I know it is all worth it. I wouldn't trade in all this for that old comfy life again. 

So, I will grieve these losses when they come. And then I will count all the marvelous blessings we have and be grateful that God is changing us for the better.

Still a Work in Progress, Anne

So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.
Luke 14:33 ESV

***Update: Two of God's servants felt called to purchase Noah his new lenses. It is so hard to accept gifts like this, but we are so thankful that God prompts His people to be so generous. This was not my intention with this post, but I have one very happy teenager right now! Praise God!

She's Here!!!!!

I'm sorry it has take so long to post, but life certainly got busy for us!!! If you haven't heard, our third daughter arrived safely on Wednesday, June 22nd via c-section. She is absolutely perfect!!!

With this being my 4th c-section, and a tubal ligation done along with it, surgery was a bit more difficult and recovery was by far my hardest. However, with her about to turn 3 weeks, we are through the brunt of it! We have had a challenging start to breastfeeding because she has a lip and tongue tie, but they should be getting fixed this following Monday. Say some prayers that nursing will be able to resume afterwards. It has been extremely difficult keeping up with pumping in the midst of trying to resume life.

The girls are absolutely thrilled with their new sister! My very favorite thing is to see them interacting with her and laughing at her antics. It is absolutely precious!!! So far, Annika seems pretty even tempted. If we could just get her to sleep at night like she sleeps during the day, we will be all set!

We are looking forward to traveling north with her in August so that our friends and family back home can meet her. My parents got the opportunity to come down for a week for her birth which was absolutely wonderful! I know everyone else is chomping at the bit to get their hands on her!!!

This brings us to our biggest request of this post. WE NEED YOUR PRAYERS!!!! When we started this journey, we began working towards paying off our car, an HHR, with the vision that it would keep our needs until it was time to leave for the mission field. Well, we got it paid off, but now with God's surprise blessing we no longer fit in it!!! We are in desperate need of a mini van. We are not looking to take on extra debt, so we are praying that we can find a reliable used van that is inexpensive. Our HHR isn't worth a whole lot, but we'd like to trade it in and keep the cost above that minimal. We know this is a God-sized task, so please be praying with us! God has provided many opportunities for Ben to preach this summer, which has helped with the time he took off for Annika's birth, and will help go towards a van. We are so grateful! I can't wait to see how God answers this prayer and can't wait to share it with you!

Another update we need to make is important for those of you that currently support us or for those of you that would like to send support at some point. Since we are living in Arkansas now, we have moved our church membership to Oak Grove MBC in Benton. Because of this, we have also moved our mission account. If you are called to send any funds, please send them to:

Oak Grove MBC

2907 Congo Rd.

Benton, AR 72019

Please list in the memo what your intention is for the funds so we can use them appropriately.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers! We have been blessed beyond measure and really appreciate the way God's people have encouraged and supported us. I will update our "Ways You Can Help" page with our newest prayer requests. God Bless!

Under His Care and Provision, Anne

"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:19

Unexpected Blessings- World Missions Seminar

What an awesome couple of weeks! Our family just spent two weeks with the World Missions Seminar with Lynn and Brenda Raburn at Faith Baptist Church in North Little Rock. I will get back to you on our experience, but I wanted to first pay homage to an unexpected blessing we received.

Ben and I were able to attend the second week of this conference last year. However, since our children had already missed a bunch of school for our trip to Kenya, we could not bring them along. We weren't sure what our kids would experience at the seminar. We knew childcare was provided, but I really just thought they would keep an eye on the kids so we could focus and learn. I packed up some homeschool lessons for each of them, said a prayer that they wouldn't get too bored, and hoped for the best...

Oh man! My kids experienced an amazing two weeks like they have never experienced before. I knew the World Missions Seminar put out outstanding quality for us missionary adults, but I had no idea what lengths they would go to for our kids as well!

Meet Holly Hartung. She gave up an opportunity to help serve in Africa so she could be here to serve our missionary kids! God created her with the love, energy, creativity and ability to discipline that was needed to care for our kids. I could not get over all they did each day!!! I'm pretty sure they went and did everything that was on my go-do list for while we are in Arkansas! Here are some of the highlights......

The Old Mill

North Little Rock Fire Department

Painting

The Trolley

We don't have pictures, but they also went to The Maritime Museum (submarine), The Big Dam Bridge, The Witt Stephens Nature Center, The Discovery Museum, went bowling, and visited Heifer International!!! They were also suppose to climb Pinnacle Mountain but the weather wouldn't cooperate. On top of ALL of this, they played games, put on skits, did multiple crafts and completed school work!!!! I am not sure how it all was accomplished, but it made for some memories that will last a lifetime!

Another unexpected blessing that resulted from these weeks, is the friendships my kids made. It was priceless for them to be around peers. Not just kids their own ages (which was very much needed), but kids who understand them. Kids who are going through the same transitions and exceptional childhoods. It did my mama heart good to see our children flourishing in this way.

Unfortunately, with this fun and excitement comes another transition...our children must separate once more...their new friends go back to other states and they are left with each other once again. We look forward to all gathering back together in October for our next Missionary Training Ministry Retreat, but October is a long time away to a child. Please say some prayers for their lonely hearts. Pray that God will bring some other local friends to them, and give us opportunities to cross paths with our new ones. I know this is all part of "The Cost", and part of the preparation for the field, but it doesn't make it easy. We thank God for all of His provision. We are particularly thankful for His servants: Lynn, Brenda and Holly for helping us so tremendously as we follow His Will.

Cared and Beloved, Anne

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above..." -James 1:17a

Please Pray With Us

Hello everyone! So sorry we have been silent for so long. It is amazing how time just flits by without you even blinking!!! We wanted to briefly check in with you all to ask for some specific prayers. We are so excited to be attending the World Missions Seminar starting tomorrow and going through Aprill 22. We were able to attend the second week last year and absolutely loved it! This year we are blessed enough to be able to attend both weeks! We are so excited!

God has been moving greatly in our lives. He has been opening doors, forging new relationships and giving confirmation which has been certainly welcomed! We just know that He will have so much to say to us through the course of this training. Please be praying for us that we will hear clearly what He is saying, and will respond accordingly. Please pray for all of the speakers and especially Lynn and Brenda Raburn that put so much time, energy and love into this seminar. Please pray for me as my growing belly makes sitting more challenging and the long days (while very fulfilling) will be tiring. Please pray for our children that they will thoroughly enjoy these weeks with other missionary kids and hopefully make new friendships.

I hope that if any of you are nearby, you will come join us for some of the sessions. The information that is given is so beneficial not only to missionaries, but to pastors and church members alike. There is no better gift to a missionary than a church that truly understands the missionary's needs. You will find us at Faith Baptist Church in North Little Rock. Sessions are Tuesday-Thursday of this week from 8:30-4, and Friday from 8:30-12. Next week we will be there Monday-Thursday 8:30-4 and Friday 8:30-12. We are so excited to see what God has in store!!!!

In case you don't see us on a regular basis or don't follow us on Facebook, we are now almost  29 weeks into our pregnancy! Our little girl is a kicking machine and growing rapidly! We go for another ultrasound on the 25th so they can check some of her anatomy that wasn't clear in the last ultrasound, so say some prayers that all is well. Oak Grove MBC gave us a wonderful shower, so we have lots of cute little outfits and diapers just waiting for her! 

I am sure you will hear from us soon about what God is revealing, so be sure to check back or follow our blog by email (sign up on the right side of this page), so that you don't miss out on any updates! Thank you so much!

Anticipating, Anne

God is Full of Surprises!!!!

Well, if you haven't experienced this yet yourself, I am here to tell you that God is FULL of surprises!!! Sorry it has been so long since we have updated our blog, but frankly we are just beginning to come out of our state of shock. For most of you, this is old news by now, but for some of you, prepare yourself.....

The Fisher family is expecting!!!!! Yes, I am 37 and yes I had a procedure done last year to prevent any more pregnancies, and yes we are living a "simple" life on limited income, and yes we are preparing ourselves to move to  foreign country...but none of that will stop God in all of His wonderful craziness! I am now 16 weeks, doing better with my nausea and praising God that our little one is doing well! Here is a sneak peak:

So, with this news comes the need to update our prayer requests. God has been so good to us! I will update our prayer page too, but here are our most recent needs:

1) That the baby and I will continue to do well. It is absolutely crazy to be in this stage again, and is much more difficult this time around.

2) Our only vehicle is a 5 seater HHR. We hadn't planned on anymore vehicle purchases before moving overseas, but clearly that has changed now. We're praying that God will make a way for us to get a reliable minivan that will be able to take us through deputation.

3) We are still waiting on God to reveal His clear calling as to WHERE He wants to send us. Please be praying that He is clear with us and that we will have patience while we wait on His timing.

We so appreciate all of you. We know that God could not be so bold and generous with us if it wasn't for the assistance of His people. 

In other news, Ben had a great first semester at Seminary. He is looking forward to beginning the new semester tomorrow. The kids and I have thoroughly enjoyed our Christmas break. We were able to travel home to spend two weeks with family and friends in Ohio and Pennsylvania. God even blessed them with the chance to see some snow! We will start back with our homeschooling next week as we "travel" to Kenya with our curriculum! (I can't wait!) It's hard to believe that just one year ago we were returning from our actual trip to Kenya. What an amazing year it has been!

Blessed and Blooming, Anne

Psalm 139:13–15 (ESV)

¹³  For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

¹⁴  I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

¹⁵  My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

intricately woven in the depths of the earth.  

Wounded Missionary

***Disclaimer: The views expressed in this blog are solely Anne's and not MTM's. These are simply her observations and thoughts of this past week.

Oh man...what an amazing week. We attended the World Missions Seminar last Spring and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Ben planned on enrolling in MTM to get his Associates in Missions, but we thought he was going to have to do it online because the commute from Pennsylvania wasn't feasible. So, what a blessing to find ourselves just miles away!!! Because of this, and the generous help from many friends, we both were able to attend Module 1 this week. If you are unfamiliar with MTM, it is an essential ministry that exists solely to equip, train, and serve missionaries and sending churches. I am not sure how missionaries go on the field without this training. I have gained so much from them. The education we are receiving is far beyond what you could ever learn from a textbook or manual. I would highly recommend MTM for anyone considering mission work, any missionary on the field, and any sending church. In fact, I think all churches and all Christians should attend! Do I think everyone should be a missionary? No. But I hope after reading this you will see how beneficial attending this could be.

This week MTM addressed Evangelism (something I am not entirely comfortable with, but am way better equipped now!), Spiritual Life, and The Call. It is pretty easy to see how the first two topics would be beneficial to anyone, but I believe even the latter topic is helpful.

Evangelism
God commands all Christians to go and make disciples of all men. That doesn't mean everyone should be a missionary, but it does mean that everyone is responsible to share Jesus with others. It became clear to me through this training, that we do not equip ourselves to do this effectively. Churches are dying because the people in the pews do not know how to reach the people around them. With some training and encouragement, I think we can change that. We even got to hear from a missionary that worked with engaging and discipling Muslims. He gave us so much valuable information on their culture and beliefs. More importantly, he shared his heart, struggles and joy.

Spiritual Life
Here is an area that I have struggled with for years. I'm not sure how, but I have managed to live my life thus far following Jesus, listening to His call, and doing my best to give everything I am for Him; yet, barely spending any quality alone time with Him outside of church and small groups. I have continually asked for forgiveness for this, but the bold men that shared with us this week really brought light to how dangerous this is. I am now committing to spend at least a half hour each day with him, and leading my children to spend daily quiet time with Him also. This is imperative to maintain and grow our relationship with Jesus and will be even more important once we are on the field. I want to challenge you to join me in this. I know our pastors have told us for years to read our Bibles daily, but it is so much more than that. MTM did a phenomenal job of giving us the hows, whens and whys. 

The Call
I thoroughly enjoyed hearing this topic. Ben and I were called last year, but have been struggling lately with the uncertainty of our where. We are praying about Kenya, but we have written God a blank check that He can cash anywhere in the World. (Don't be scared Mom!) We weren't sure if the uncertainty of our where diminished our call, but we got clear validation from Brother Lynn Raburn that it does not! Even more importantly we gained advice on how we can begin to get our call more refined. This was a session that I really wish more pastors would sit in on. We learned what it means to be a missionary, the role of the sending pastor and congregation on our call, and the necessity of the call. I wish churches had a better understanding of their role in the process, and could hear what the missionary needs to be "successful" in the field.

The thing that stands out to me in these trainings, beyond the highest quality of education we receive and the speakers that we hear from, is something I can hardly explain. It is the main reason I wish more people outside missionaries would attend...

The Heart

When you hear from a missionary from the pulpit, you get to hear about his work, his heart for the people he works with, and the challenges he faces. However, when you get him in this setting where he is preparing the missionaries who are coming alongside and behind him, you hear a different heart. I wish this was the heart that he could feel free to share among the churches. The raw, honest, brutality of his experience...The Wounded Missionary. In just about every case, intermingled with the excitement and bold encouragement and practical wisdom is pain. Pain that has been endured for the cause of Christ. Pain that can only be remembered with tears. Pain that can be felt for years after it was first suffered. The kind of pain where you can barely even look at him without feeling a portion of it yourself too. However, even after exposing the hurt, disappointment, fear and struggle each and every man would tell you it was absolutely worth it and he would do it again.

I wish everyone could witness this. It is such a beautiful thing. It gives you a glimpse into the unfairness of expectations and demands that we hold them to. It instantly humbles you and teaches you that mission work is way more then just about the numbers. It sheds light on the fact that the standards we hold them to and the judgements we make have no place in bringing lost people to Jesus. We think we know how it is and how it should be, but we really have no clue. 

I have to say that bearing witness to all of this is not easy. That's probably why we don't hear about this from the pulpit. I'm not sure our congregations could handle it. It's much easier to imagine a missionary serving in an exotic location with his family surrounding him in smiles, baptizing new converts in the nearest water supply. Those moments do happen. It isn't all doom and gloom and misery. But for every soul saved, every family changed, a mighty battle had been fought to get there. Please pray for our missionaries. Please don't expect them to change a country in five years or have made progress every single month. Please take every opportunity you can to educate yourself on their behalf. MTM is open to everybody. You won't be sorry for they will bless you richly. If you want to find out more, please visit: http://www.missionarytrainingministry.com/

To close out this post, I just want to brag on God for a bit. He is so good to us. It's challenging to see your future in front of you and know that it won't be all roses and sunshine. I am so grateful to be given a realistic picture and brilliant advice on how to cope. This is one of the reasons I love MTM: they don't sugar coat it, they equip you. They don't just deal with the practicalities of your work, but they deal with your heart. They know that a missionary is more than his vocation. My God is so great that He knew this week would tear at our hearts as we watched grown, strong, men weep. So He sent along some encouragement for us. Phone calls from dear friends checking in on us. Cards and gifts from family members letting us know they are praying. A love offering from a church. Friends that made it possible for me to be away from the kids for several hours each day. Every one of these acts of kindness, was a huge gift basket of encouragement from God! Thank you Jesus for once again showing us you care.

Even Better Equipped, Anne

"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil." -Ephesians 5:15

Perspective

Yesterday, God gave me a really good lesson in perspective. We have undergone a lot of changes over the past couple of months, and I have noticed my perspective changing slowly, but yesterday was one of those hit you over the head kinds of changes. And God orchestrated it all through our car.

We sold Ben's car for a small amount of money prior to moving down here. We were grateful for the sale because it covered a good portion of our condo expense while we attended the Lead Summit Family Retreat last weekend in Alabama. That weekend was so refreshing and wonderful. We learned so much from others in the ministry and it was a great time for us to reconnect as a family.   Had we not sold our other car, I'm not sure we could have attended. 

However, on the way home I believe we got some wrong gas for our car. Ever since, the vehicle drives fine, but it will take an extra turn or two of the key to start. After searching the internet, we felt pretty confident that as that gas gets diluted with the right gas, that the issue should go away. However, yesterday really had me questioning that logic.

I ran to Target to pick up Annabelle's prescription for her ear infection. (Thank you Jesus that our doctor back home was able to just call in one for us). I returned to the car and began the ritual of turning the key a couple of times to get it to start....only it wouldn't start. I tried not to panic. I sat for a bit and tried again....and again...The outside temperature was 90 degrees, so I put the windows down so I wouldn't suffocate while I waited....and waited. After a few more rounds of tries, and a glance at the clock which told me Ben was supposed to leave for work in this car in less than an hour, I decided to call Ben to see if he had any pointers.

Unfortunately, there wasn't anything more I could do. He told me he would find someone to come get me or call for a tow to come. While I sat fluctuating between waiting and trying some more to get it started, a gazillion thoughts began to run through my head. "If we have to tow this, then that will be really expensive, and Ben will have to miss work which means missed income, and he might not be able to get to school tomorrow and may have to miss more work and more income...." I began chasing this rabbit in a very depressing direction when it occurred to me I needed to stop worrying and start praying! 

It was during this time of trying to refocus my thoughts, that God reminded me of perspective. Just months ago, if this would have happened, I would have been annoyed and possibly frustrated, but we would have had another vehicle to depend on. I could have dropped Ben off at work and picked him up on the days I needed a car. He could have possibly even gotten a ride from a friend. We would have several friends that we could call that would gladly take a look at the car and help us fix it. The cost would probably be minimal, and if not, we had very steady paychecks coming in to cover it. But now....

Now the loss of a vehicle means a loss of wages. It means the inability to get to school. It has such a greater impact on our lives. It made me consider all of the people in our country that don't have access to a reliable vehicle. This limits their ability to work and the opportunities that the world provides to better themselves and their family. And then I began to think of my dear friends who are missionaries in Honduras. They have been trying to raise money to purchase a vehicle for at least six months now. While I know they wouldn't wish car issues on anyone, I'm sure they would be grateful to just have a car to call their own, issues and all. As it stands now, they have to borrow vehicles or take a crowded bus to go grocery shopping an hour away. 

All of this thinking makes me sad. Sad that I didn't appreciate our two car home more. Sad that I didn't use that blessing to help others. Sad that when my friend in a one car home had car issues I didn't do more for them or pray harder for them. It honestly never occurred to me how devastating that loss can be...

I try to start the car a couple more times...and it starts running! Thank you Jesus for giving me that time to pause and be grateful for what we have. Thank you for getting our car running in time for Ben to get to work. Thank you for a new perspective! We're continuing to pray that this issue will blow over or be easily fixed. In the meantime, I hope I continue to reevaluate my perspective so that I may gain more compassion and empathy for the world.

Contemplatively Yours, Anne

P.S. If you feel called to help in some way, here is a great opportunity to help a family!   https://www.youcaring.com/joe-cortney-caroliona-and-alistair-cash-370851#.VX5cQ5oCIdk.facebook



*******************************Update*****************************************
Shortly after I posted this, I got word that the Cash Family was able to purchase a vehicle!!!! Praise God!!!