Unplanned

In college, my dad bought me a really nice DayTimer planner. Do you remember those? Back before calendars and memos that you could pull up on your phone, you could purchase a planner made from paper. In a leather cover. With 3 metal rings that you could open and close to add more papers in. Tabs to separate your months and an address book. It was wonderful!

My planner was so elaborate that I could schedule out every minute of my day. Which I did. I loved that thing and felt completely lost without it. That is why Ben had to hide it from me for a week. I don't know if he had a sense of the uncertainty our future would bring and knew my obsessiveness with order would be detrimental to following God's call, or if he wanted to see just how crazy I was before he asked me to marry him. In any case, that week was one of the hardest weeks I had experienced up to that time. I was worse than a teenager without access to a cell phone. I didn't know how to go through the day. I was sure I would forget something important. I found myself immobile most of the time because I just wasn't sure what to do. 

I kind of think Ben knew what he was doing...

After that week, I still went back to my planner. But, I found that it was okay to just schedule the big things. I could just look over my day in the morning and not pick it back up until the next day. Life became so much simpler.

Over the years, Ben and God have worked together to strip me further down. In fact, just 2 days ago I finally put a monthly calendar up for June after our fridge lay bare since April...or was it March? From the outside I fear that I may look like an irresponsible  adult. Like someone who is habitually late and is voted most likely to not show up for things. It's not that I no longer care. In fact, I care a great deal. It hurts my soul if we are late to anything. It's just that...I have no idea what we're doing!

It seems silly to have a calendar up when you aren't even sure what to write on it. Right now I know Annika's birthday and birthday party are coming up. I know we have her 1 year checkup and a car seat appointment. I know we are headed North later this month for my cousin's wedding. Next month we will be speaking at a kids camp. Beyond that....I really don't know. I know some general ideas of where we may be when. But no specifics. I thought it was amazing that God could have me on a path towards being a missionary. But it is equally amazing that He has me in a season where I have absolutely no control of my schedule and I'm still functioning. 

Over the past couple of years, God has shown me how to depend on Him for finances and daily needs. He has shown me how to depend on Him for friendship and comfort. And now, He is showing me how to depend on Him for my plans. Faith is an amazing thing. For an unbeliever it may look like insanity, but for a believer it is a daily, conscious act of obedience and prayer.

So, when you ask me about my plans, be prepared to get a blank stare, some mumblings, or even an exasperated "I have no idea!" I'm not trying to be difficult. I really just don't know. The good news is, God knows exactly where we will be, on every single day, and I have the faith that it will all be good. So, when you think of us could you please say a prayer? Pray for our protection and provision while we follow God wherever He leads us, and for God to give us some clear answers.

I don't think I'll ever have a planner again, but some direction would be nice.

Faithfully Following, Anne

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

Fighting for Peace

As we enter this holiday weekend, my heart is bursting with gratitude for what a magnificent God we serve. That "He did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness...He humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross." (Philippians 2: 6-7...8) We have been memorizing Philippians 2: 3-11 for several weeks now with our kids We stumble through the exact words to use and what comes next, but the enormity of their meaning is not lost on us.

Unfortunately, though, Satan doesn't want me to be filled with unbridled joy, appreciation, and awe for a God that deserves even more. Satan is using this time to distract me with things like worry, fear, and uncertainty. I'm pretty stubborn, and I don't like to let Satan win. So, I've been doing my best to clothe myself in God's armor. I feel bad that I have to send Him into battle for me after all He has done. I wish it was a battle that I could just easily win because I have already been given so much. But, I am a weak sinner, and so I must depend on God. 

Thankfully, He is gracious and knows exactly what I need. Not only has He equipped me with His Word, His promises, and a LOOOOOONNNNGGGG list of examples of His provision, but He has also given me a godly spouse to lean on. I am so grateful that when I am at my weakest, He seems to have already bolstered Ben to be strong for me. Hearing him speak back to me the truths that I know, but have doubted, brings me such comfort and assurance. I am grateful that I can share my worries with Ben and know that he will counteract those worries with godly wisdom and truth.

When you are feeling particularly weak, I hope you have someone you can turn to that can audibly tell you what God's promises and truths are. God is absolutely the one fighting for peace for you, and doing the hard work against Satan, but to hear someone else say what God has been telling you all along, is such a sweet gift. I hope this is a gift you have received and one you will be quick to give. 

Happy Resurrection Day! Because we have been given the gift of salvation, there is Joy in the morning! 

Blessings, Anne

Not Now Satan!!!!

The World Missions Seminar began today. We have been looking forward to this since last year's seminar ended. So, of course, Satan wants nothing more then to throw a wrench in our plans. I knew yesterday was going to be a challenge. Ben was selected to preach at chapel at the Seminary, so I naturally wanted to go hear him. Annabelle had rehearsal in the afternoon for the Spring Musical that she shouldn't miss. So, I knew the day would be full of interruptions and various car trips. What I didn't know, was that shortly after Ben preached to me about being prepared for when life punches you in the face....that life would punch me in the face!

I had returned to the seminar after he preached in time for lunch. We ate quickly and then rushed out to get Anna to rehearsal. I dropped her off and went to zip back over in time for the first ladies' session (which I really wanted to hear because it was a new topic delivered by a sweet friend). I go to turn onto the main road....and the car just dies. Not that kind where the battery just shuts down, but the kind that can only be described through various guttural sounds. Not Now Satan!!!!!!

I knew Ben would be finishing up at the seminary and would be headed to the seminar so I called him to come rescue us. (I had Annika with me). After messing with it and pushing it off the road, we left it there and returned to the seminar. We spoke to a dear angel of a man from our church that recently helped us with van issues and his over the phone prognosis did not sound hopeful. But, he willingly said he would run up to take a look at it that night.

The whole time I'm thinking: "We do not have time for this! I just want to enjoy my week! Leave us alone Satan!"

By the time we returned to the seminar (just in time to have that session ending), I was a heap of tears. All of the stress, worry, discouragement, and disappointment collided and I just could not take it all. I knew Satan was after me, but this time I didn't have it in me to fight back. I told Jesus; "This has to be Your fight, because I just can't do it!"

Fortunately, he called up His soldiers to fight for me. His sweet servants surrounded me with encouragement and empathy and prayer. He knows laughter is the fuel for my joy, so He even sent some of that too (thank you Ms. Jessie!!!). The Andersons leapt into action and drove back to Whitehall to get their vehicle for us to use (despite it being their anniversary). The Shields invited us into their home and fed us while we waited. We even were able to stay and attend church like we wanted! Satan was losing and losing fast!!!

And then God threw the final punch and knocked Satan down. We were going to praise Jesus regardless. He has our hearts and devotion. It was absolutely unnecessary. But in His Goodness, He chose to bless us in this moment. As church was ending, I see a text from our car angel, Todd..."THE VAN IS FIXED." I about fell over. I could not believe it! Our van lives to see another day, and we can get focused back on God's work and His Will for our lives. I am continually amazed at the power of prayer, and God's sweet, tender mercy. Thank you Jesus! 

None of the people that ministered to us yesterday did it to be mentioned in this blog. I'm pretty sure most of them (if they read this), would prefer if I didn't mention them at all. However, I love the way God strings His people together to accomplish His work. Did He need them? No. God can do anything. He could of just had me turn the key and the van start right back up. However, He lovingly invites us into His plans so that we can take part. It increases our Faith, and further prepares us for the next time life punches us in the face.

Was yesterday hard and stressful? Absolutely! But I am so grateful that once again I got to see our Mighty God at work. I thank God for each one of you and pray that I, too, can be part of the blessing of God's plan for someone else.

Awed and Blessed, Anne

"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good..." Genesis 50:20a

Our Favorite Time of Year

Hello friends! Sorry we have been MIA lately, but Ben's hectic school/work schedule has made for very busy days for all of us. Fortunately (well, for us-not Ben), the semester seems to be flying by! He still has A LOT of work ahead of him, so please be praying!

We are super excited because the World Missions Seminar begins this week. It is always a highlight in our year. It's fun too, because each year we seem to be in a different phase of our journey. We were hoping we would be sent out as missionaries by this time, but we are doing our best to be patient and wait on God's timing. He certainly has had our very best in mind throughout this whole process! We would love for any of you to join us this year. You can even just come for a day. The training is absolutely priceless for anyone that has a heart for missions. Whether you are a missionary, have plans to be a missionary, are curious about mission work, are a pastor that wants to send out missionaries, or a Christian that wants to learn how to support missionaries, this seminar will be beneficial to you! It is held at Faith Baptist Church in North Little Rock Tuesday through Friday of this coming week and the next. Commit to coming and God will make a way!!! If you need more info, let us know and we can get it out to you.

I know everyone gets busy, but if you get a moment, please be in prayer for us. Life is pretty stressful around here and Satan really wants to bring us down. We are relying on God to give us the strength to not let Satan win, so any prayers on our behalf are appreciated.

In lighter news, Annika is getting so big. She is extremely smart but has managed to keep out of trouble.  It really helps that I have a lot of extra eyes and hands assisting me. The girls are knee deep in rehearsing for a musical (Fiddler on the Roof). We cannot wait for showtime! In the midst of all of this, Rianne has been having some digestion/behavior issues. So, we are doing a strict elimination diet with her to figure out the culprit(s). We are making progress, but it is really difficult! We all will be happy when we know what she can/can't eat. It's been awfully expensive cooking for her and A LOT of work! But it will be so worth it in the end. Noah has enjoyed playing in a local homeschool Nerf Wars group and is getting more involved in our homeschool PE class. He is trying to save up for a gaming computer too.

We thank you all for your prayers and support. Just know that each prayer you have ever said for us has helped to equip us to follow God. We could never express our gratitude enough.

Blessings, Anne

A New Year!

I cannot believe we have entered another year!!! 2016 closed out on a really good note for us. God blessed us in so many ways through His people. Despite having van issues just before we were scheduled to head north, we were able to celebrate Christmas with our friends and family. It was much needed time away that helped us to refresh before tackling another semester. Here are some pictorial highlights:

Thanks to Oak Grove MBC, we were able to travel with their van!

Annika's First Christmas

Fun With my family

My Mom and Dad with all of their grandchildren

Gram loves her babies!

Some Northern Snow!!!

Cousins at play

So, now the fun is over and it is time to buckle down again. Ben won't let me brag on him, but he had a very full class load last semester and did VERY well. He has an even larger load of classes this semester (which I didn't think was possible), but I have no doubt that he will impress once again. Annika is growing everyday and is a joy in all of our lives. She just turned seven months and is crawling all over the place! The kids have gotten back into the swing of school once again and are excited about what this spring has to offer!

We got to spend some time with our missionary builder friends from California recently, and have plans to meet with another family that we adore from Texas in the near future. It will not be long until it is time for the World Missions Seminar again. My children are just as excited as I am!!!! I hope some of you are making plans to join us. You do not need to be a missionary to attend. Anyone that has a heart for missions (which should be any Christian), would benefit from attending. This year the seminar is the last week of March and the first week of April.

Noah has recently joined a local Nerf War club, and Annabelle plans on joining in next month. The girls have begun rehearsing for the Spring musical, Fiddler on the Roof, with their Homeschool Drama group. We still go to our weekly Homeschool PE class, the girls go to a monthly science club at our library, and of course we are active with Oak Grove church. We certainly are keeping busy!

We have been praying fervently over the past month for God to begin showing His clear path for us as Ben starts winding down from school this spring. If you haven't been praying for us, please do! We sense that God will be revealing more of His plan soon, so of course Satan is hard at work too. Our van, that we love, seems to want to be a thorn in our side and we know that exhaustion and stress will be perfect targets for Satan's schemes.

We are blessed beyond measure, and thank God for the role that each of you play in our development.

Many Blessings, Anne

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." -Romans 15:13

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I don't have anything particularly insightful today to share, but I wanted to check in with y'all.  (Do you see that? I've finally abandoned fighting against the usage of y'all!) We have so much to be thankful for this year. For those of you that aren't on Facebook (Umm, Srin!), here are a few pics for you to enjoy!

The girls at Roseberry Farms

Annabelle and Rianne performed in Lagooned! with other homeschoolers

If you want to see Noah, you'll have to catch him in person. He is not fond of me taking his picture! (Teenagers!)

We are so grateful for all 4 of our precious children. We may not get to be with our family for Thanksgiving this year, but we are going to have a great day with a family that is precious to us. We hope that regardless of how you will be celebrating, that you will give all thanks and glory to God. It is not by our own doing that we have what we have, but it is because of our most gracious, generous, and loving Father. 

Happy Thanksgiving,

Anne

P.S. We have some new needs listed on the "How You Can Help" page if you are interested.

"I will praise the name of God with a song; I will magnify him with thanksgiving."

Psalms 69:30 ESV

Abandon the Gods

I hope today's post makes sense and isn't disjointed. I'll do my very best, but this month has been so God-filled, that I have a million thoughts swirling around in my head.

The first milestone of this month came when I finished reading the Bible in 94 days. I was aiming for 90, but frankly, am pretty amazed that I came even close! Bro. Lynn Raburn is a great encourager for Bible reading and it was always something that I struggled with, so I finally took his advice and gave it a go. Now while some days I'm sure I was just reading to get that check mark, God showed me the beauty of reading His Word in one fell swoop. The knowledge and understanding that I have gained from reading it as a whole, has benefited me tremendously! It is definitely something I will be doing again!




Coinciding with this accomplishment, was our annual MTM training. This year they made it very family friendly and took us to the Ozark Folk Center in Mountain View, AR. These weeks devoted to learning and growing are always so amazing to me. It was no coincidence that during this same week, us ladies were learning about the benefits of studying our Bibles and memorizing scripture. I gained so many tools and some new friends too! As always, our children had a blast and hated to leave. They got to experience the folk center, go bowling, visit caves, go hiking, go to a pumpkin patch, go on a hayride and have s'mores, go canoeing,  and play in bounce houses. Their week was full of fun and many memories! We are so grateful for everything MTM has provided for us.

This month, our church also had a revival in a local park with Bro. Will Diggs preaching. It did my heart good to gather with our church family nightly and hear God's Word. There was wonderful worship and a definite boosting to my spirit! We also had our local Associational Meeting which I got to attend a portion of. Again, the preaching was FANTASTIC and I got a lot of encouragement from various pastors in our area. It is moments like these that keep me fueled during this difficult journey.

The last bit of excitement from this month brings me to the title of today's post.

My sweet neighbor-friend and I have started to meet weekly to go through Kelly Minter's What Love Is. It is a study of 1John, 2John and 3John. Our Monday mornings have now become my very favorite part of my week. This time together has filled a need that I have had for awhile in such a special way. And it is through this study that brought me to today's epiphany. We are in the third week of this study, and Ms. Minter has us really thinking about what it means to remain, or abide in Jesus. In the Gospel of John, Jesus gives us a clear picture of what this looks like in chapter 15. He discusses the vine and the branches as an illustration and says: "Remain in Me, and I in you..." (vs. 4). For us to remain in Him takes a good bit of effort on our part. The world wants to drag us away in so many directions. When I really started to think about this, I realized that prior to this journey I had a god that kept trying to pull me away from Jesus. This god looked innocent enough, but it can do so much harm. If I'm not careful, he still tries to steal me away. We all have gods that try to do this. I'm sure I have several others that I am still actively battling. However, it is this one particular god that I want to focus on today because I really feel like it can do so much damage to remaining in Jesus.

What is this god I speak of?.....The god of Stability. Prior to our calling, one of my greatest pursuits and joys in life was stability. I loved that Ben had a secure job that paid well. Even though he was salaried he had opportunities for overtime if needed. We had great health insurance and a 401K. His company gave bonuses twice a year that would pay for our modest family vacation and Christmas. His company took really good care of us and valued him. I felt secure. 

However, it was this security that could have completely drawn me away from following God's Will. If I had not been girding myself with sound preaching weekly, devotions, small group studies, regular fellowship with believers, and serving my community....the god of security would have won. I would have attached myself so deeply with it, that the whisper, tug, and shout of God's calling would have been drowned out completely. I am so grateful God had me in a place where I was grafted so securely to His vine. I pray I never let security lop me from it.

The really good news though comes in the second half of what I quoted..."and I in you." You see, Jesus doesn't have to work to remain in us. Once we ask Him to be our Savior He just IS in us. He may prune us from time to time, but He will not remove us from His vine once we have been grafted. I am so grateful for this! 

I hope you will take some time today and consider if the god of security has interfered with your relationship with Jesus. Or is there some other god that is pulling you away? If so, ask Jesus for forgiveness and then strengthen yourself for the battle ahead.

Armed and Ready, Anne

"Remain in Me, and I in you. Just as a branch is unable to produce fruit by itself unless it remains on the vine, so neither can you unless you remain in Me." -John 15:4